the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she peed on how many people?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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