Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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