Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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