Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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