She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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