I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
