Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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