the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
