im about as happy as oj after his trial
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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