Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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