I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
BRING THE BAGELS
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
