You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
