i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
