Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
