three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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