It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
