...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
