I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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