The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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