awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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