girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
