living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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