He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
