I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Randomize
