When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
