His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
