The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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