Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
