is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's Friday. Sex?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
