Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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