I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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