Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
