...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
