so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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