Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
