Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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