just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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