I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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