It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
