3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
