Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
