You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
