hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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