thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
