4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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