You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
