Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
