She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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