Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
