my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Are we still banned from the library?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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