You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
