We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
